First and foremost, I’m sorry. Sorry that it’s taken me so long. All the promises I made to myself in
lockdown, all the realisations... were they wasted? No.
I refuse to regret anything, after all,regret has no way of magically inventing time travel so we can re-live the same scenarios.
Regret is a waste of time.
So, I got busy. I had to focus on my work, my team and readjust the business.
If you've spent a lot of time on self reflection during lockdown, it’s hard not to berate yourself when eventually you dive head first back into work. That said, I’m sure I’m better because of it... better at slowing down and listening, looking and feeling. It’s been quite a rollercoaster really, and it appears that the rest of the country has in fact decided that they, too, don’t want to go back to their former lives.
Hence my struggle... hence the dive bomb... not helped by the fact there is no one left in hospitality because of the hours, hard work and instability if we go into another.... dare I say it? It begins with an L and ends with a down. ....Rant over.
I wore pink tights last week. It was day 7 of work and I needed a boost. If it had been day 3, I would have paired them with shiny silver brogues. Alas they were paired with a black pair of boots instead. They made me feel hopeful that the weekend was close. What’s your trick that gives you a leg up when you’re feeling tired, anxious, or needing to feel more confident?
I use the Super Hero Pose, Have you heard of it? You stand with your legs hip width apart, hands on hips, head high and take some deep breaths. The stance alone makes you feel empowered, strong, and open, It gives you a buzz, much like my pink tights.
It’s that time of year when the trees whisper, I can hear a tree now, as I write, the one that's just outside my window, its leaves rustling together, quietly encouraging me to look at its colours. "Aren’t I beautiful?"’it asks.The tree next to it has slightly more russet tones... there’s always a leaf out there that's just that bit more beautiful, less crispy.
Then there are conkers...
Conkers to play with, that join the carpet of leaves as the winter crawls ever closer. Conkers to collect for fun times with your friends, not for gaming, just good,solid, outdoor conkers. Fresh cold air, winter coats, overlong scarves that dangle in puddles, or in your soup!
Autumn, is such a changeable time, what with our moods swings, snotty noses, and poorly tummies, and those darker nights which have us hemmed into our homes from early doors.
No, no and no!! LIsten to that negativity! You see it’s far too easy to dwell on negatives.
Actually,what an awesome time of year this is!. The cycle of nature harnesses the energy from the sun, powers it down for sleep to re-emerge in Spring. It’s beautiful! The darker nights encourage us all make the most of the lighter ones. Longer nights mean more time to focus on the inside... your mind, your relationships, and all the fun things you can do at home.
A friend sent a podcast over for me to listen to this morning and it contained this one snippet which summed life up for me at the moment, It was this: The chances of us actually being born is 1 in 400 trillion, and so with that in mind we need to live life like we mean it and not just exist from one day to the next. we need to think about how unique and how special we are; to consider the miracle that since the beginning of time certain people met, reproduced, and gave us, just us, the gift of being alive, here, right now, at this very moment in time.
Spend your time speaking to people that cause you to beam out sunshine from within and when you find them, give them your time, your care and ultimately your love. This world needs more kindness, more ears that listen, more action and less talk. You know when you’ve found those people, you just know, they’re your people, your tribe and it feels like you’re whole again.
There is indeed something in the air, and I think it's hope.A fresh breeze,with a bright yellow sun beaming down from an azure blue sky, accompanied by the warmth of knowing that good things are on the horizon. Plans, fun and adventure. A life happening on purpose, because I’ve made it that way. I think I’ve been asleep, and just woken up!
I long for forests with tree stumps for seats. I want magical mist, and then sizzling sausages. I want road trips and surprises, I want rhythm and blues.
Credit David Shuler
This year, at the age of 42, I made a vow to myself that this is the year of change, this is the year of plans. I’ve woken up, I love it and I am so very grateful that I was chosen to be alive on this earth at this time. I’m now living life like I mean it.
Are you ?
Ps- the leopard print leggings are going to make a reappearance soon.
Pps- just be you.
Ppps I promise you I’ll write more.