Sigh... the shadow is cast without warning and takes me from the morning, afternoon or evening. Unsuspecting, it niggles away in the subconscious, a cause for concern, what that maybe, only the shadow knows.

It’s a journey, not a ride. A change of weather in thought. It’s lonely, but many people are here too. We all just can’t see each other.

Perspective, and the right angle. This infiltrates news and media into our minds, if you let it. What’s yours ? Not the governments, your parents or your partners. What’s yours?

If I had a drum I’d bang it right now.  I don’t want a saucepan or a tambourine. I want a drum. The filters fallen off. Some may argue that it’s been loose for a while, others may say it’s bolted on. Perspective...

What am I on about?  My mind. Do you feel it too? That shadow of doom, visits and then leaves. The frustration when you turn on the news, confusion and chaos breathing down your neck. Absolute stupidity, irresponsibility and conspicuous compassion.

Okaaaaaay now we’re talking, but are you still here? Or did I lose you yet? Recently I learned something that I already knew... our attention spans are getting way shorter. With so much at our finger tips, we are all fighting to focus and maintain our air time. I hope you’re still reading as I have lots to say.

Firstly, yes I’m turning into an opinionated wiser woman. Finally unafraid to say what I think. Lockdown unscrambled something and now I just say it how it is. Could be dangerous, but I’m pretty pleased.

How many of us are consumed with thoughts and feelings we are too afraid to voice?  It’s cathartic to release, albeit a tad of a shocker when it leaves your loose lips. Hey ho... it’s real so rock it!

I’m sorry but I don’t really care about Dominic Cummings or Trumps tweets. I am however ecstatic I can go to my friends for a BBQ... salivating at the thought. I’m passionate about people and not the political shite that is parading as something newsworthy.

The last clap was last night. Apparently the last opportunity to say thank you to the NHS... or perhaps we can now clap once a month. Maybe we can just hashtag be kind again, to show that we are doing the right thing? More so, maybe we can reset our intentions and do something without an audience. How’s that for an idea? GROUNDBREAKING I’m sure.

I’m hopeful that the world is soon coming out of hibernation as better people. Finally with a renewed sense of morality, patience and identity. There’s no doubt in my mind that the future has changed, your needs have moved and the mood is inquisitive. This is indeed an opportunity for rebirth. How will you fair?

I’m sat on the edge of a field, it’s early evening and the birds are twittering away. There’s a cool breeze and wood pigeons cooing. They coo all the time, I’m glad I don’t understand them as I’d get one major headache; they talk that much. The warmth of the sun and the purge of my words lifts the shadow.

Thank you for letting me be a ranty pants. Mental Wellness is real, my coping mechanisms are creativity. I hope being brave and sharing my inner workings help those who can’t express, to feel less alone.

Ps... I wore shorts and my dads T-shirt today. No leggings or pink tights.

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