Knowing me, knowing you.

Artwork credit to Bruno Cavellec, ‘Where dreams come true’ is a painting especially for the Ellyn exhibition to respond to the theme ‘Isle of Man’.

You know when you have to try to unravel a knotted necklace, or worse still, fairy lights? Firstly,

you're standing up, you think you’ve got this, until you discover that one knot leads to the next. You realise that you needed to go under, not over, and now you’re in even more of a mess! Oh, and then you feel that you need to sit down, heave a big sigh and try again. Sometimes, someone else comes along and unravels the whole tangled mess with a click of their fingers... yeh, sound familiar ? Well I’m the one that gets all tangled up, and it takes me a long rest, and a sit down to unravel it.

When life feels like a series of knotty fairy lights, it’s hard to make sense of it all and see the full beauty that those twinkly lights are able to radiate. It also seems impossible to go any faster than the pace your own body sets for you.

What I’ve learned is that the more I do, the more I want to do; Ive also learned that no matter how hard I try to do something quickly, I simply can’t. I am indeed slow and steady, Is that annoying? Probably; and I'll only take action when I feel that the timing is right, you can’t force anything, or rather, I can’t.

I know, (was where I was going with that). I truly believe that if I tried and I practiced I could be quicker. If I train my brain I can do anything surely, but how often is it possible to take the plunge and do something new?

Have you heard these well known and often repeated pearls of wisdom?

‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’

‘The only growth is through change’

‘Nothing worthwhile is easy’.

My brother would call these homilies ‘fridge magnet philosophy’. It's like those IG quotes that speak to you, that are there for you to share away on your account. That ‘aha’ moment when something resonates and you feel the the need to pass it on, that kick start that momentarily sparks you into action.

Well, I feel that my life has been a series of tangled fairy lights. I’m starting to work my way through the knots now, and I can see exactly how they will unravel and where they will lead me, but I’m going to be patient with myself about how long it takes me to get there. I’ve had help, and I’ve been help, and discovered along the way that the exchange of kindness is very important.

Over the years we accumulate friends, for either ‘a reason, a season or a life time’. If I am a friend

of yours and you are reading this, you will know just how important you are to me. You will know that you have my attention when we are together and that I need yours too. I don’t do flakey; it will be you and me, quality time, and I don’t share it well. You will also be reminded that when I’m not with you, I will be either topping up on alone time or perhaps giving my all to another friend. I’m all or nothing I'm afraid, I can’t multi task. I have to focus, and I need quiet.

Stubborn? Oh yes.

How well do you know yourself? How do you fit into others' lives? How do your friends and family make you feel?

Think for a moment, and consider who it is that brings you happiness, positivity, authenticity, kindness and love. Kelly, my soul sister, would say "Are they always withdrawing or do they deposit?"

Life laundry is imperative, a clean and healthy life is maybe the aim, but let’s face it... life is messy, not simple, however those you choose to be in your life should be a simpler decision for you to make.

Be with people that question you, challenge you, and ultimately want the best for you, without bringing their own agenda. If there's someone that consistently withdraws from the friendship, then consider them a drain. The freedom to say no can be as life changing as staying yes. Knowing what, or who, is good for you.

Over this next year, I will continue to make plans with my friends and spend quality time with people that I love. I'll be having conversations with them whilst walking along riversides (and trying not to fall over!), about the things that matter with the people that matter to me. The future is always unknown, but having the people you love, being real and true to yourself certainly makes it easier to untangle those fairy lights, and that’s where the real illumination begins.

This is my first blog of 2022, inspired by someone special who I know enjoys reading them. I have listened, absorbed, responded to how I felt and then written. You have inspired me!

This year will mean change and growth for me I’ve decided, and therefore my thoughts are going to be put into action. Like I said, it always takes me a while, but I'll wait until the timing is right.

If you’ve read my ramblings, please do take a few minutes to yourself without interruptions. Consider your own friendships, relationships and the 'bank of you'. Who is it that invests in your wellbeing, cares without agenda and ultimately, who will help you untangle those bloody lights?!

PS - if I wear the red tights tomorrow will they cover my giant bruise from falling over?

PPS- yes you read correctly, I’ve moved on to red tights now.

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